First Time Trolled

okay... I have to know why? is it really a finny reaction for someone to believe that they are being givin 100 dollars? to say thank you genuinely and wonder where it went? why do people have to say phat? like spelled like that and I don't understand it. someone was saying they were giving me a couple hundred dollars while I was streaming. the fact they said "ha ha your being trolled. phat." made me lose what little confidence I had to start up again. I knew I had to deal with trolls but damn dealing with them in person hurts. like im not kidding. its like oh your gullible and your stupid why not have you believe that im giving you something you need?

Why do people do this? like why do people not understand that some poeple have it hard enough as it is. Its not hard to stream things these days but really? People have a hard time too. it took so much for to stream the week I did alone. I feel like its boring to do when your talking to yourself. more so in the beginning. I have trouble just doing blogs let alone doing much else. I have low self esteem and its difficult to see myself as a good person. Or even good at anything. I struggle with so much already streaming kinda keeps me in line lets me know im not the only one. More so when people talk to me. I've studied on how to do this and I just struggle with self esteem.

but I still draw at least. Maybe I should do streams on picarto instead. I'm not good at it but I enjoy doing the little I do. I need to learn to do more then an hour though. like maybe 2 instead for drawing or like a movie length. we will see.

Here is the latest drawing of well the last week I've actually finished. XD